Can’t seem to be able to edit it now but that last blog is another Act I found that I may be charged under! Just have to wait and see which one it’ll be now! Or maybe both really as well.

Communications Act 2003 section 127

(Came into force 25th July 2003 replaced  s43 Telecommunications Act 1984)

(1) A person is guilty of an offence if he-
(a) sends by means of a public electronic communications network a message or other matter that is grossly offensive or of an indecent, obscene or menacing character; or
(b) causes any such message or matter to be so sent.

(2) A person is guilty of an offence if, for the purpose of causing annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety to another, he-
(a) sends by means of a public electronic communications network, a message that he knows to be false,
(b) causes such a message to be sent; or
(c) persistently makes use of a public electronic communications network.

(3) A person guilty of an offence under this section shall be liable, on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or to a fine not exceeding level 5 on the standard scale, or to both.

(4) Subsections (1) and (2) do not apply to anything done in the course of providing a programme service (within the meaning of the Broadcasting Act 1990 (c. 42)).

If/when I’m charged with anything, it’ll most likely be under the “Protection From Harassment Act”

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1997/40/section/1

If you click on it you’ll find “section 1(b)” is a key line: “which he knows or ought to know amounts to harassment of the other!”

That line does throw in an element of doubt on one case against me. If the “victim” kept texting & tweeting me, multiple times a day, every day, how was I supposed to know they felt “harassed/intimidated” by me? It certainly does give me a defence.

That being said, do I want to put this person through a trial? No, but do I also want to just keep rolling over and just taking everything being thrown against me either? No. So seriously caught in two minds now.

Another thing is, if I do plead not guilty and I’m convicted I could easily be jailed for denying the charge. Even with that defence it’s not set in stone that I’d be cleared, just as much as it wouldnt be set in stone that I’d be convicted either, it really is a case that would hang in the balance and just depend on the jury on the day. Whereas if I just accept the charge I’d most likely get some other form of punishment. My solicitor’s already said if I did get a custodial sentence we’d appeal it and even the officer in charge of the investigation said it’d be harsh if I even got a suspended sentence, let alone actually sent to prison. :O

Really dunno what to do. I really care about this person, and wouldnt feel comfortable with putting her through a trial and being cross-examined by my defence team. But then again, like I said before, do I just want to roll and take everything? After all she didnt exactly think about what I’d be put through when she gave a statement against me either! :(

-sighs- What to do? :(

Ok, went to the doctor’s yesterday, told him everything and all he did was increase my medication. Ok, fair enough, it may take 4-6 weeks for you to feel the effects of them, but surely after 3-4 weeks you shouldnt feel WORSE than you did when you started them?

But anyway, screw it. Had a long think to myself last night, and I aint gonna get better if I dont try to help myself. So gonna try and only think positive thoughts from here in.

That means, blanking out your statement and only thinking about the note you sent me on Facebook. Gonna read it at least once a day (thank God I printed it out before you deleted it). End of the day you didnt have to write that note, if you had done it in November or December when I was low and indirecting you asking for a sign we’re still friends you could say you did it cos you felt sorry for me or didnt want me doing something stupid. But the fact you sent it after I had 3-4 good weeks meant it was so out of the blue and there was no actual reason for you doing it, apart from you meant it. :)

Other positive’s I’m gonna keep thinking is the fact you still got me on Facebook, still have our pics up on your Facebook album. And even the fact you’re still reading my tweets/tumblr posts, you wouldnt keep reading if you didnt care.

Also wanna say I’ve decided, as it stands right now, I’m going to plead guilty so you dont have to give evidence in court. Know you’re tweets from Monday night about your voicemail, seemed to suggest you’re excited about doing it, (while most people would be shitting themselves in fairness) but I’m thinking you hadnt thought it through and I aint gonna have you go through that traumatic experience! I blatantly care too much about you to do that on you! Although, it all depends on what exactly I’m charged with also. So we’ll have to wait to see what it is before I 100% confirm that, but as I said, as it stands right now I will plead guilty! It’ll also be over a lot quicker if I do that too.

And finally want to say have arranged for my 2nd cyber-bullying interview. Going to take place on Tuesday at 3.30. Only time I reckon I can get the house to myself for an hour or so. Going to make you proud of me again!

So, here’s to a more positive Robin once again. Just like I was for about a month before my police interview! Also sorry for all the negative tweets in the last 6 weeks. You’re statement just hit me for six, as did a couple of the others, but as I said earlier, I’m just gonna blank out all the statements, well til I get my letter from the PPS, apparently it’ll include copies of all the statements. :O

Robin :)

Wanna start this by saying a long overdue sorry to you for all those times I moaned at you for not replying to my texts, tweets, PM’s etc. I’m having it again myself off “Mr Pressure”. Really regret giving him our house number when I had my phone taken away! I know my moans put a massive strain on our friendship and for that, if I havent said it before, I genuinely am sorry. Although, in all honesty, I think he’s going a little further with me than I ever did with you. I never told you you couldnt talk to anyone else, just moaned that you talk to me too. Either way, GAAAAH! :(

I had a horrid dream last night. It was my court case and you had to give evidence and when you were cross-examined by my defence it was horrible to watch. Been thinking of pleading not guilty for a while now, but if that dream is anything to go by, I’m now having doubts. I just dont want to put you through that. If I plead guilty, you wont need to go to court. Dunno if that makes me a mug or whatever but I guess I STILL put you first before even myself! :(

I’m really at my wits end now. Cant wait to see the doctor later today! :(

Been just over 5 months since I was last able to talk to you (5 months exactly on Monday past). I gotta say still missing you like fucking crazy! :(

Heard Halo this morning and the first line caught my attention: “Remember those walls I built? Well baby they are tumbling down….”. Made me realise in many ways I have built this wall around me over the last 5 months, so it’s time they came down and I let you know exactly how I’m feeling about our situation, much like you did in your FB note of 7th February!

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. I miss you more & more each day. Every night, before I go to sleep I pray that tomorrow I wont miss you as much and this pain I’m suffering will ease a little. But of course, each morning comes and I’m missing you more than I did the previous day and the pain I have is worse! :’(

What makes it worse is that I dont know where I stand with you? Did you mean what you said in your note when you said you couldnt wait for this “bloody police case” to be over so we could start “a new, fresh page”? And if not what’s changed since 7th February?

If it’s cos of the negative tweets I’ve posted since having my interview, well could you not put yourself in my place for a minute? Go on, reverse our roles and you be me.

Now imagine if my mum presuaded you to go to the police about yourself, then told you that while I would give a statement I’ll also say good things about you in it and not ask for charges to be pressed against you. Now imagine having your interview and finding out that, not only did I ask for charges to be pressed agaisnt you, I also said nothing good/nice about you in my statement. Would you be all happy happy after that?

I WAS happy, up until I had my interview, it’s no coincidence! Or have you just completely forgotten what you said in your statement?

As I said I was happy til I had my interview and a lot of that was down to your note on Facebook. You are bound to have known, as you were typing it, just how happy that would have made me, so, if you didnt mean it, why send it? :(

I’m just missing you SO much. It’s been 2 years since I lost Laura, but I got to be honest, I still have moments when I miss her, and she was a crap friend to me at times. I dunno how long it’s gonna take to get over you. Probably never! :(

I know I drove you crazy at times, and hell, if I had been you I probably would have given up on me a long time ago, but we had our good moments too, why does it feel like you want to fixate on my bad points?

I love you, like a little sister, and care a lot for you. To be honest it does scare even me sometimes when I think just how much I do care about you. I’d die for you, I’d kill for you. I have been there for you so many times in the last near 3 years. I just cant believe you’d want to give up all that so easily!

I know I have treated you like crap at times as well. But that’s all down to my insecurities and jealousy. But I have been working on them, you even said yourself I was improving, til that night I came home from Rihanna drunk. But is it any wonder I have all these issues considering my track record of crappy friends over the years? :(

I just feel so down. Back on anti-depressants but dont seem to be working. Not eating properly, have lost about half a stone in the last 2 weeks. Crying myself to sleep virtually every night. Dont get out of bed til afternoon, when I was usually up for like 10am at the latest. And have major bouts of crying, at random times.

In fact, at the one point last night, I locked myself in my room, lay on my bed and just screamed into my pillow.

I know this blog makes me sound a bit obsessive, but I’m not in a bad way. I just miss you, you’re my best friend and we cant talk, so obviously I’m gonna be like this! You’re even more than my best friend, you’re the greatest friend I’ve ever had. I cant stand the thought of never talking to you again, but it looks like I’m gonna have to just start getting used to that fact now! :’(

Supposed to be seeing my GP next Friday but cant wait til then. Going to try and get an emergency appointment tomorrow. I’m genuinely scared of what’s going to happen. I just cant cope any more! This is easily the lowest I’ve ever been in my entire life! I need major help & support.

Please pray for me! And remember I love you and always will! :(

Robin

Wanna dedicate this blog to Frankie Sandford out of The Saturdays!

Her interview with Glamour was beyond inspiring. Must have been a very difficult thing for her to do. For that, she deserves a LOT of credit & praise!

I have had mental health issues (and still have) for a few months now. Was seeing a social worker at my local mental health clinic. However, they only see for 4-6 months and when I reached my 4 month mark I had had a couple of good weeks so I was discharged from seeing her.

However, I have gone backwards over the last 6 weeks or so, the last 2 weeks in particular where I have cried everyday, had suicidal thoughts and, like Frankie, feelings of “If I disappeared would anyone miss me?”. It is the lowest I have been in my entire life, and they are feelings I would not wish on my worst enemy!

But, thanks to Frankie, I have booked an appointment to see my GP again, this time I’m gonna be completely truthful with him and look to maybe getting my medication upped or maybe booked into hospital.

So, Frankie, thank you! You have probably saved my life and you wont even know it, unless you see this! I love you! <3 xxxxxxx

Ok, was watching the 100th episode of Big Bang Theory, dunno if you watched it, but in it Penny & Leonard decided to give their relationship another go. But they came up with a test for themselves.

It’s something called a Beta Test where both of them are allowed to tell the other whenever they do something that annoys them or they dont like. When they do this the other person cant get upset about it and they talk it over. Basically I was thinking, if we do start over again, once all this police stuff is over, maybe it’s something we could think about doing? You do it for a set period of time, a week, 2 weks, a month, whatever, and then at the end you re-examine everything that happened over that period of time.

So, what you think? I know you cant answer now but it’s something you can think over, for the next, however long it’s gonna be before all this ends and we can contact each other again!

Also can I just say, I’m still worried about you with this stalker stuff. Dont care if you throw it back in my face by tweeting a dig at me, “at least he doesnt pressure me to reply” was clearly one. I aint gonna apologise for worrying about my best friend when you’re having problems! Wish there was something I could do but there isnt :(

I love you, always have, always will. I know I come across as obsessed, at times, but that’s just me. I’m a typical Scorpio in that I’m passionate about things that are important to me. And that includes you, so obviously I’m gonna love talking to you and want for you to be happy. I know I go OTT at times and smother you but I only got you, I know you had other people in your life, and that’s great, but I still just wanted to talk to you and I know you felt the same, not accepting what you said in your statement about only talking to me cos you felt sorry for me, no one would put up with even a quarter of the moans I sent you if they only felt sorry for the other person.

I only wish I could have thought about that more often than just moaning all the time. I truly am sorry for all that and for all my negative, moany tweets in the last few days. You got to understand this isnt easy for me, probably easier for you as you got other friends you can talk to, but I got no one right now, and when all this gets out, any friends I do have locally will probably disown me, maybe even my family.

When all this is over I’m gonna need you more than I’ve ever needed you or anyone for that matter. I only hope we can start this “new, fresh page” that you talked about in your FB note. You mean the world to me, and more. Seriously, like I’ve said before if I could only save you or my brother from a burning building I’d choose you. That’s how much you mean to me.

And you know I only see you as a sister right? No romantic/sexual feelings at all (wouldnt be now I’m gay lol). And you know I’m truly not a danger to you or anyoned else for that matter? You did say that in your last PM on Facebook back in November.

I’m just SO down. Glamour magazine printed 9 “depression symptoms”, I can tick or partially tick 8 of them :(  Have booked an appointment with my GP but have to wait til the 20th, bloody joke! Gonna see if I can go into hospital or something. I’m truly scared, not attention seeking but I have had lots of feelings of suicide and, like Frankie, “what if I wasnt here, would anyone miss me?” :( It’s the worst feeling I’ve ever had and I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.

Anyway, gonna wrap this up, in tears as I write this and dont care that I’m in public. Please try to remember my good points. I hate keeping going on about the things I’ve done for you, but please do try to remember them yourself. I’m not a bad person, you should know that, you wouldnt have kept me as a friend this long if you didnt think that. I just need some serious help. Not to mention support! Again sorry for all the times I pressured you into replying to my messages or tweets. I just loved hearing from you is all. And please dont give up on me, I can get better, I was getting better til I had my police interview. And wasnt I improving before that night I came home drunk after Rihanna? You mentioned it yourself a few days earlier.

Love you, and always will as I said at the start. If we never talk again I know I’ll be a less person for it, though you’ll probably be a better, happier person. :’( Maybe I just dont deserve any friends in general! :(